Ginger Vee My Chronic Life

Today I’m thankful that my suddenly no good, excruciating, debilitating back pain is finally improving somewhat. It’s only like 20% better today, but it’s been scary bad for about 3 weeks. It’s been painful to move or take a single step, but I was able to go do some Christmas shopping and I didn’t end up in tears, so that’s a major win for me. I’m super grateful that my head pain has also been tolerable today.

It may not seem like something to publicly express gratitude for, but when your life IS pain, any added pain, challenge, or discomfort can really wear you down physically and emotionally. I feel it’s helpful for me to share & celebrate my good days and stay focused on the positive. The fact is, one can “get used” to a certain level of daily symptoms and torment, but when another area of your body is also screaming & demands to be dealt with, it’s overwhelming to say the least. I have certain things I am able to accomplish on a near daily basis to help keep our home tidy & organized, but these past few weeks I’ve been utterly useless and the pain guilt is real. It weighs heavy on my self esteem and mental health, even though my husband assures me that he is fine with picking up my slack. (I’m also ridiculously thankful for him.)

So, it’s been rough in my universe. But, I’m thankful we got some shopping accomplished, that I was able to make dinner tonight, and that it’s the end of the day and I’m not crying because my back is hurting unbearably. I’m thankful right now, for ANY improvement I feel; even if I still can’t stand up straight or sit certain ways. I’m thankful now for how I feel right now. Why wait until I’m completely better to appreciate my recovery? Because I am acutely grateful for any lessened misery in my life. I can be grateful & honor my body while still trying to heal.

I may not be dancin’ “The Twist” any time soon, but at least tonight I can walk up my stairs without wincing on every other step. And, for that, I am thankful. 💜