Ginger Vee My Chronic Life

Hi, I’m Ginger Vee.

I always find it daunting to introduce myself, or participate in any “get to know you” conversations. I never know how much to say, primarily because I have a lot to say. So, for my introduction, I’ll try to stick to the ‘Cliff Notes’ version of My Chronic Life.

I am a complex little creature with numerous moderate to severe mental health diagnosis including: OCD, Agoraphobia, Emitophobia, and plethora of other phobias and irrational fears. My Panic Disorder leaves me in a constant state of anxiety, and I’m basically stuck on “Fight, Flight or Freeze” mode, with my “Flight” response being the most prominent. I have Major Depressive Disorder with suicidal & self harm tendencies, I’m in recovery for an Eating Disorder (Anorexia Nervosa), and I struggle with Personal Dependency Personality so severely I can’t make decisions on my own. Most recently I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which is where my high manic episodes are far apart, years even, but the depression is constant and unwavering. Basically, I am clinically sad all the time, even on my rare “good” days.

Beyond my mental health issues, I also have severe debilitating Chronic Illness’ and life stunting pain. I have one of the most painful conditions known to man, Trigeminal Neuralgia, aka “The Suicide Disease”, Occipital Neuralgia, chronic migraines, and Functional Nerve Disorder. I have permanent nerve damage affecting my entire right side, from my crown to my toes, due to two Traumatic Brain Injuries I got before the age of 7, and was never treated for. Which reminds me, I also have family trauma that I am working on healing, and feeling like my ailments were burdens is something that I still struggle with immensely. Having my identical twin sister, a true narcissist, abuse and bully me for 38 years makes recovering from the trauma all that more challenging.

My pain limits me immensely. It can affect my speech, my balance, the ability to use my right hand, and the sudden extreme ‘lightening strike’ type pain shocks in my face and head can happen at any moment. So, it’s not always safe for me to drive, which means I don’t get to socialize the way I want. I’m a social creature and I crave friendship.

When I say I have “tried it all” when it comes to getting a grip on my physical struggles, I really have. I have had numerous surgeries, my most significant being in 2021 when I had my C-7 Disc removed/replaced, and I have tried more medications, injections, eastern medicine protocols, supplements, lifestyle changes, tips, tricks and suggestions than I can track. Alas, nothing has helped much, but some things have helped a little.

I manage my mental health & pain as best as I can each day. I have docs, I am in therapy, I take supplements, work out, write, communicate my boundaries, practice yoga & meditate. I have found that my breath is my most important tool when it comes to dealing with unbearable, torturous situations. I get outside, pet my dogs and stretch my creative muscles almost daily. I’ve found a good balance between pharmaceutical aids, and metaphysical aids, as well as using the gifts Mother Gaia provides so abundantly; good ‘ol marijuana.

Mary Jane has bridged the gap many ‘a time when nothing I was doing would relieve the pain. I have learned that the strain “Jager” is absolute magic when it comes to taming nausea, and that “Pineapple Express” helps energize me, while “Blue Dream” is the only reason I am able to sleep at night. The Devils Lettuce does wonders to help me focus on my breath, and is the main reason I can go through my daily torment so gracefully. It centers me, while still leaving me plenty of ability to function on a semi normal level. Partaking in toking on Tha Chronic has made my life do’able without nasty side effects. I believe, if used responsibly, MJ can really change the life trajectory of any chronic sufferer.

I like to think of myself as a Chronic Life Goddess because I firmly believe I can live a positive, fulfilling life through connection to myself, Mother Gaia, and Father God/Spirit. Connecting to my strength within, harnessing the power of God that soars through me, and using nature’s gifts is how I am able to actually live my life. I live a life centered around Gratitude, and no matter how bad the challenge, I know that I am blessed and I have a lot to be thankful for.

I am a proud mother of a remarkable son and a phenomenal daughter who is carrying my grandchild, and I have the best husband in the world. I have the love and acceptance of my mother, and a nephew who I absolutely adore. My friends are far away, but they are treasured gold to me. All in all, I know that I am mightily blessed to live in such an incredible, loving universe. My pshyc issues may limit me, my physical pain might be extra tough to manage some days, but this just who I am, and this is the real’ness of My Chronic Life.