Ginger Vee My Chronic Life

For a lil perspective into my world…I’ve had 9 kidney stones, the biggest at 11mm 😳, and I’m actually dealing with symptoms at this moment from yet another one. I’ve had bones split in half resulting in surgery, broken numerous toes (last year broke the same toe 2x), gotten stitches galor, gave birth twice, only once with an epidural, I have Fibromyalgia, removed an ovary & Fallopian tube, had my C-7 Disk removed and replaced with a fake one, had exploratory surgery, SEVERE chronic migraines my ENTIRE life, and NOTHING compares to Trigeminal & Occipital Neuralgia pain. When I say I manage a chronic pain life with one of the most painful conditions known to man, I don’t say that lightly, to be dramatic, and I’m not exaggerating. at all. Honestly, the Facebook world doesn’t really know the severity of my pain because I play it down, most days. I’m used to not being “believed” & always questioned when it comes to my pain, so I do my best to make my literal “unbelievable” life seem normal’ish. My pain, physical or mental, was never believed by my family, and long ago I learned that no one cares when it comes to my struggles. No one cared, it was never taken seriously, and I was just being whiny if I did speak up…so I shut up and shut down. Well, not that I have anything to prove, but this chart shows that I am in no way dramatic or “looking for attention”. My Face pain, neck pain, head pain, and Nerve pain are constant. I’m ALWAYS in some amount of pain. Nothing provides full relief. Not even hospital IV meds. (Though, they are great for kidney stones, and post surgery pain.) Pain is my life. It just is. Every moment of every day I am mitigating triggers and managing pain. And, if you don’t believe me, if you have some negative opinion regarding my misery when there isn’t visible “proof” of illnesses (though, if you think that, try looking in my eyes without your judgement clouding your vision; it’s pretty plain to see), I truly don’t care. I have nothing to prove. My pain isn’t “worse” than your pain, necessarily. I’m not in competition with anyone. Believe me! I don’t WANT to suffer “more” than you. I’d rather neither of us suffer. Period. Pain is pain, and it fucking sucks. Understand that I, of all people, understand how awful it is, and I will never minimize your suffering. If I explain my ailments, it’s purely for common ground, not comparison. I KNOW pain, and I never want anyone to feel as alone as I have. Chronic Pain is a lonely life. I no longer have time to curtail my conversations because someone might not believe me or they’ll think I’m competing or “one upping”…I’m not. It’s that simple. My intentions are pure & kind and I won’t defend or explain myself. I have one of the most painful conditions known to man, and I STILL have a beautiful, fulfilling life. My pain is not my life’s focus, but it’s definitely innately intwined with who I am as a Divine Spirit, and I’m tired of feeling like that’s a bad thing. I will always try to “get better”, but it’s unfair to ask someone to not “focus” on something innate and unmanageable and constant. I will no longer hide my pain. I am not ashamed to have chronic pain, TN & ON, nor am I ashamed of being clinically insane. I didn’t cause my traumatic brain injuries that contributed to the future of my entire life; the injuries that caused the nerve & brain damage, nor the treatment I received as a child that contributed to the detriment of my mental health. I didn’t cause it, and I can’t do a lot about it to make it go away fully, and I will not apologize for that, or for being me. Because of pain, I cherish life. I appreciate life. I immerse myself in every good moment, and I know I can help others. A chronic life might be lived differently, but it doesn’t all have to be bad. We can be chronically ill, and still be awesome. I’m proof. 😝 it takes effort, but life is worth it. YOU are worth it. If you need support, I’m here. But, if you want to play the “my life sucks worse than yours” game, I’mma see myself out, cuz I ain’t playin’ no more. ✌🏻I’m done shuttin’ up & shuttin’ down. 🕉